After my son lost his dad, I spent a lot of time searching for ways to help him cope with his emotions — not just with the grief itself, but with the way it showed up in his body.
Sometimes he’d withdraw. Sometimes he’d melt down over things that didn’t seem related. And sometimes, the hardest part was just the silence. He couldn’t put what he was feeling into words — and I didn’t know how to reach him without making it worse. I say all this in past tense, but it still shows up in the same (and different) ways as he gets older.
In our grief counseling sessions they introduced a simple but effective stress relief tool — Playdough. Not because it was a magic fix. But because it gave us a way to be together. To create. To press something soft and colorful into shapes – to feel a sense of control.
This post explores how playdough can help grieving kids express emotions — especially when they don’t have the words. It’s written from my experience as a parent, supported by expert insights and child development research.
Why Playdough Helps Grieving Kids
Grief doesn’t always look like sadness — especially in children. Sometimes it shows up as anger, regression, hyperactivity, or silence. According to Pathways to Peace Counseling, playdough can help kids externalize these feelings in a safe, sensory-rich way. Kneading, squeezing, and sculpting are rhythmic actions that regulate the nervous system and activate emotional expression.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a leading expert in child grief support, notes that “children need ways to express their grief that match their developmental level. Play is their language.”
When children are grieving, they often lack the vocabulary to explain what’s going on inside. According to ELSA Support, even simple sculpting activities can help young kids identify and release emotional tension. The tactile experience bridges what the brain can’t yet verbalize.
The Research Behind It
Playdough isn’t just soothing — it’s therapeutic. A 2025 article at Kid’s First explains that playdough supports co-regulation, allowing adults and children to engage emotionally without overwhelming the child’s system.
Similarly, Creativity in Therapy outlines how sculpting supports sensory integration, increases emotional safety, and supports storytelling in trauma-affected children.
Occupational therapists frequently use playdough to support children with emotional or sensory regulation needs. This article from Harkla shows how different playdough activities can target fine motor skills, bilateral coordination, and emotional release.
In short: this is a simple tool backed by deep research.
How to Use Playdough With Grieving Children
Sculpting Emotions
Ask your child to sculpt a feeling. Maybe it’s sad, angry, tired, or lonely. Let them choose the color and shape. You can join them by sculpting your own. Talking is optional — creating is the goal.
Making Memory Shapes
Encourage your child to make a heart, an animal, or a symbol that reminds them of the person they lost. Some families make a “memory tray” where they store the dried creations.
Storytime Play
Shape characters together and create stories. You don’t have to steer the narrative toward grief. Let your child take the lead — you may hear feelings come out in the story without being asked directly.
Unstructured Play
Sometimes just squishing and rolling is enough. The ELSA resource recommends using playdough as part of quiet time routines. The sensory focus helps kids settle and feel safer in their own bodies.
What to Say (and Not Say)
You don’t need perfect words. But if you want to gently invite conversation, try:
- “What do you want to make today?”
- “This color looks calm/silly/sad — what do you think?”
- “I made this one because it reminds me of daddy.”
These open-ended statements give kids permission to feel — and help them name what they’re already holding.
More tips are available in the Pathways to Peace article and in this reflective blog from Creativity in Therapy.
How This Activity Connects to Others
Playdough is one of many activities we leaned on during grief. Others included:
- Memory Boxes – A way to keep special items close
- Drawing Together – Visual storytelling for kids who love to sketch
- Letter Ceremonies – Writing or drawing messages to someone who’s died
- Dance Parties – Letting movement and music help with emotional release
Each tool opens a different door. Playdough isn’t just for toddlers; it’s a creative entry point for grief expression across a wide age range.
Final Thoughts
When your child is grieving and words don’t come, try starting with your hands.
Sitting together, shaping dough, making something from nothing — it’s a way back into connection. A way to let big feelings move, without needing to explain them.
